It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
