I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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