fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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