It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
