If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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