If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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