He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
