i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
