dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
