I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
