3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
