Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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