sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
So. Much. Porn.
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