Grow some girl-balls and come out already
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Randomize
