I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
