Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
