yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
