I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
