So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
