Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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