After last night, I could never be a politician.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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