dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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