so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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