I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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