went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
