I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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