I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Fuck appropriateness.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
COCAINE IS GR8
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
