kristin has been a bad kristin
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize