After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
