It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize