My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We are two peas in an std pod
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
