Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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