Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
