just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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