Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Is Oprah even human
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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