Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
