It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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