I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
