thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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