Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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