PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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