After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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