whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
