Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It's blow job season.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
