have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
