When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
