He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
