Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
