She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
