I want to stick my p in your. b.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize