Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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