Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
