bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
