Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
