When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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