u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
