apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize